Ladies, can we talk about something real quick?
It is more than okay to be happy with what you can do, even if it isn’t your best or as good as someone else’s best. I notice it all over social media 20x a day, girls feeling like they could do better or wishing they could do it as good as someone else. Kick that negative self talk out the window. What you can do or did is GOOD ENOUGH. Accepting that every day is different, every workout is different, and you are different, doesn’t mean you are worse. Quit holding expectations over yourself. You are an amazing woman and you don’t have to please anyone, not even your own high expectations. Dont put that over your head. Sometimes we have to realize that our pride is what needs the checking, not our failed expectations.
Flaws are not limitations they are humility indicators. They help us learn to love ourselves while still needing to provide ourselves grace and compassion. It gives us a reason to always improve and strive to develop in our field. I mean could you imagine a world where everyone was ego maniacs because they could do everything or never had to be humble? Eeeew, no thanks, I would rather not.
The reason why sports and fitness are so much fun is because you have to train, you must have passion, and you have to compete. I do not mean for self-worth, but purely to excel. Think about it, right now no matter your fitness level, you are above and below someone else. Always. This is simple and easy to grasp, so easy, I teach it to my children. There is always someone better/prettier/fitter/smarter than you and always someone who is worse off. It helps us to always keep a level head. Trust me when I say I thought I was the worst of the worst in fitness. Heart murmur, injury prone, and extra weight, I was a hot mess that couldn’t do one full push up or run a mile. Truth is, there are women who can’t do those things yet. We all are on our OWN JOURNEY. We don’t need to PR every day. We definitely don’t need to bash ourselves for not being at the top of our game. What you can do is good enough, I mean put effort in, of course! But use it as an indicator for that day and listen to and learn from your body. Remember earlier when I said everyday is different? I wasn’t joking.
Some days you will stick your pose, or run that fast mile, and then some days you wanna die the first few mins of a run and can’t even hold a pose you mastered a year ago! I swear running and yoga will teach you humility! Every dang day! My yoga teacher (Hi Georgina, I am waving) always tells us every class during our standing balance sequence that each side of our body is different. And every time my brain wanders off to a time earlier that week when one day I was on and one day I was way off in my training. Do you do that? Do you unintentionally wander off into intentional thinking? I do a lot. Seriously, so often it is hilarious. So because I have such award-winning humility (taught over years of mistakes) I can now take myself off the hook when I stumble. I mean I still hold myself accountable, but accountability and expectations are way different.
Here are the Merriam-Webster Dictionary definitions.
Can you see the difference? I mean I know you know the difference, but can you apply it? Can you mentally breakdown each to fit your personal journey? It is hard when you get into the nitty gritty’s of having to acknowledge things we push aside, like flaws and our negative self talk. Maybe today you will set an intention to write down your goals and segregate which are expectations and which you are holding yourself accountable for the healthy way. If you struggle with an area maybe you could star it, so you can break it down and figure out why you hold it over your head. Is it an unhealthy competition with another person’s abilities, a goal you have never been able to master that eats away at you, or something you feel obligated to overcome so you can feel good about yourself? If it is one of these things, maybe you need to break it down further to find the root of the problem. I found when one of these were the case, I was going back to the “I am not good enough, I can’t do it, or I have to prove something” mindset. It is a nasty place to be. STRAIGHT UP NASTY! You know what happens here? Self hate and self bullying. Step back ladies, this spot will take you all the way back to the beginning of your journey! Trust me on this, I am speaking from experience. If you think you are excelling because these push you to be better…than you are worse off then you know. I am not being judgy, that is me being 100% honest. (Like a I told you I would be.) There does come a time where our negative self talk becomes so unhealthy we need to seek counsel…in this case that is my recommendation. Not as a doc or mind reader, but as a friend. I would hope my friends would say to me “Aye Carleeh, you need to talk to someone about those issues.” It would hurt at first but sometimes we don’t see the little cuts as an infection waiting to happen. I got a lot of experience in this area. I am almost a professional. Where’s my certification? School of hard knocks. PHD. Lol! (Yes I laugh at my own bad jokes, humor me)
But for reals. The really dilly, yo. Partially j/k. I want you (and me) to understand how amazing we truly are. There is something so special about each one of us, and it may be our flaws. Like the fact, that I have a lot of hurts and challenges to overcome. That makes me special, why? Because it gives me a plan and a purpose, not an expectation. I know you have them too. It is okay to owe them and rise from the ashes of a burnt past or even present. Spread your wings baby doll, be a phoenix. No one can hold you down, definitely don’t let yourself be the main culprit. Take those flaws and turn them into your story. I promise there will be people who will want you to share it because they can relate. xoxo
Sweat til you Shine,
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